UTK Pike Pledge Isn’t Sure Why He Gets Ridiculed All The Time

KNOWXVILLE, TN – Kyle Barnibus, a pledge of the new Pike colony told The Momus Thursday he can’t escape the ridicule of his peers ever since he joined the recently established Pi Kappa Alpha colony. The chapter has been reinstated after a four year hiatus since being kicked off campus in 2012 due to hazing allegations.

“I’m not really sure what everyone is talking about when they ask me ‘how my asshole is feeling’ but it’s starting to get pretty annoying,” he said. Other Pike pledges have reported similar reactions from their peers, ranging from a variety of rear-ended jokes.

“Yes, we knew thePi-Kappa-Alpha possible taunting new members would have to face,” Pi Kappa Alpha recruiter Mark explained to The Momus Online regarding the criticism. “They’re just going to need to sack up and take it like a man, figuratively and literally.” Mark did not comment any further on his remarks.

From the looks of the sheer amount of ridicule sustained by Pi Kappa Alpha, the colony finds themselves at a bit of a social plateau if they can’t shy away from the constant bombardment of remarks related to their bums. A good few have dropped Pi Kappa Alpha after endearing enough criticism and instead have opted to wait until the spring to join a fraternity that does not carry the stereotype.

“There is no excuse for shaming new members for the actions of past members,” claims Dwight Howell, who works with IFC. “Those days are over and by God, Tennessee has been trying for years to get shake off the butt-chugging stereotype thanks to those losers. Let it be clear that the University of Tennessee-Knoxville is a butt chug-free campus.”

Don Johnson

Don Johnson


Don Johnson


Don Johnson
There's not a beer he hasn't drank and a woman he hasn't disappointed. He'll make it to the gym if he has time but only to workout arms. Part-time contributor and slacking off all the other times.

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Don Johnson

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