“It’s Like A Torah Study Group,” AEPi Brother Explains To Concerned Parent

torah

We promise, it’s a Torah study group!

One of the potential new members of the Psi Gamma colony of Alpha Epsilon Pi had trouble convincing his father that the fraternity was right for him. “My dad just doesn’t like the idea of Greek-letter societies,” explained Jeffrey Cohen, one of the rushees. “Which is ironic, because his dad sounds like such a fucking beta,” added Marcus Feinstein, one of the members of the colony’s rush committee.

“Every rush we get a couple of these guys who want to join, but have parents who are scared of the idea that their precious little cupcake will hang around a bunch of big, scary fraternity men,” explained Feinstein. “No matter what we tell them about the fraternity, they don’t want their kids to join.”

The rush chair, Seth Jacobsen, explains the different approach they sometimes have to take. “We tell these parents ‘look, it’s almost exactly like a Torah study group.’ Some of these parents want their kids to have a religious experience in college, and we sometimes use that to our advantage to get parental approval.”

“I’m in a Torah study group with my friends Jack, Jim, Evan, and Johnnie.” Marcus added.

“Some of the other concerns that parents have are that dues would just be too much,” Jacobsen continues. “$1,200 dues at a college that costs $39,000 a year is more than reasonable, but some parents disagree. All of that is spent on things that improve their college experience, like a slip ‘n’ slide off the roof of the house, bail for pledge ed, or matching monogrammed green pants..”

“These guys are pretty cool” Cohen concludes, “I’ll definitely join if my old man lets me.”

“To be honest though, it looks like they study as much Torah as the Muslim Students Association.”

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  1. Benjamin Moore 06/03/2016

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