Wichita, Kansas – With just a few days before rush officially starts, the Delta Chi chapter at Wichita State has still not decided on a rush shirt for the fall.
“Last year, we did a pretty typical NFL shield knock off,” said rush chair Sam Galt, “but I’m completely out of ideas this year. Maybe we’ll go for some type of Vineyard Vines thing, or just slap a bunch of sailing signal flags on a shirt.” Galt paused for a second, then continued, “Kansas is a landlocked state, and I’m not really sure if Wichita State even has a sailing team, but it’s a decent idea regardless.”
“Pike had a pretty good shirt this year,” Galt noted, “where they used the Busch logo, but replaced the word Busch with Rusch. It’s kinda clever. Even though we don’t have any ideas, we’re doing better than Sigma Pi, they just printed out shirts that say ‘Rush Sig Pi’ in comic fuckin’ sans. This whole process is just so stressful, man, I need to make sure this rush goes well, and we gotta get a good shirt.”
When asked, not a single member of any fraternity anywhere has ever said that the rush shirt design played even the slightest role in their decision to join the organization, and Galt appears to be making this a bigger deal than it really needs to be. Reportedly, Galt finally decided to base this year’s rush shirts off the classic Reagan-Bush ‘84 shirt design, echoing the plans of four other fraternities and two college Republican groups.