New Fraternity Starting In A Place You Will Not Believe

tkeKANSAS CITY, MO – Kansas City and the surrounding area is home to a wide variety of universities, but the area is now experiencing a new and unique tactic by Tau Kappa Epsilon (TKE) that the national fraternity is claiming as “revolutionary.”

A suburb town of Kearney is now becoming the testing site for one of the largest fraternities in the nation. Already active on 248 campuses, the organization is now planning their first colony at a younger age, with a new fraternity coming to Kearney Middle School. Research done by their staff has given the green light as they see themselves facing very little competition.

TKE already has active chapters around the Kansas City area, but our investigative team is reporting that they are “bottom-tier” houses, which is par for the course when it comes to TKE. We asked the organization what their thoughts were, and were directed to their expansion department who had some things to say about the questionable move.

“Tau Kappa Epsilon is always looking for new and quality members to add to our brotherhood. We believe starting at a younger age will improve chapter relations and these young students lives as they spend the next 8-10 years with us.”

Regarding competition they assured us that they would be facing very little, as the closest thing to a fraternity might be the local little league team and a large clique of friends who hang out at Jimmy Rothwell’s house. Jimmy declined to talk, but one of the members of the group was kind enough to give us his thoughts on the terms that he would stay anonymous.

“I think it would be cool to join a fraternity, but they do have some big stuff to overcome to get us to join. Jimmy’s mom always has really good snacks and brand name soda at her house. If they can’t offer that I’m not sure if we’ll be as eager to join.”

In reply to this, the fraternity assured the boys in question they would easily be able to match the snacks and drinks provided by Jimmy’s mother. The expansion team is currently looking into how to reduce national dues so that they can be covered by the boy’s allowances, and looking for prime realty to build the chapter a tree house. TKE nationals is extremely excited at the new potential shown here, as many of the middle school students are reportedly “more mature, cooler, and have a better chance of getting laid” than the majority of their college members.

Kearney Middle School has elected to not talk about the new fraternity potentially coming to campus.


Jake Wooley

Jake Wooley

I joined a fraternity to help the community.
Jake Wooley

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