LUBBOCK, TX – Brothers of the Kappa Sigma fraternity at Texas Tech University have gone public with their need for updated test files for Business Ethics 101.
“We’ve reached out to SAE, ex-Phi Delt, and Delta Tau Delta to obtain these files and nobody seems to have them!” said Continuing Education Chair Bryan McDaniels, “That, or they’re hogging the files for themselves.”
“Pi Phi said they had a copy of 2015 and 2016 BE101 files that they could give us, but the night before we were going to get them, one of our brothers vomited all over the Pi Phi house after stumbling home from the bars,” McDaniels continued. “Needless to say, they held on to their files.”
McDaniels contacted The Momus Online to help reach out the other fraternities on Texas Tech campus. “We are willing to pay $25 per test, $15 per quiz, and $60 for all homework assignments. We would prefer files from 2015-2016, however any work from Professor Handell or Doctor Simmons in the business department will work great.”
According to Kappa Sigma’s Scholarship chair, 3 brothers failed Business Ethics last spring due to the lack of test files and he is worried he won’t be reelected if brothers continue to fail an entry level course in the business school.
Not having the test file has left sophomore business major Garrett Sheets in quite a bind. “I can’t pass college without cheating,” Sheets said. “I’m too busy partying and slaying puss to worry about school. It doesn’t help that our house Chegg account got banned again for using over 100 separate textbook solutions in less than one hour. The Study Blue account still works but that website is dogshit.”
“If I can’t cheat, how can I learn anything about business ethics?” Sheetz added.
If you have any access to test files, McDaniels asks you contact him at email@example.com.