College Democrats Release Video Set To Fix Minority Oppression

GAINSVILLE, FL – After the College Democrats started their “Racist Cleansing” initiative just a month ago, the group attributes their success to the large amount of views on their video titled “Oppression & Privilege at the University of Florida”. The group claims the increased exposure will give students a better idea of where they fit into the spectrum of privilege on campus, an idea that groups people into a specific demographic based on their race or affluence.

College Democrat leader Ernie Saunders commented on the success of his group’s initiative, “Florida has been a hotbed for racism and privilege that has put marginalized groups down at the expense of others. By highlighting who fits in those groups, we’ve shown the student body their ignorance of privilege and how it undermines those groups to make them feel less than what they are,” he says, flipping his purple hair back and forth numerous times.

The University of Florida campus had mixed reactions to the video, some commending the group’s courage to stand up to the (mainly white) oppressors while others were in disbelief that a group could feel so accomplished while simultaneously doing almost nothing.

Chi Psi member John Freeman comments to The Momus, “I had no idea, as a straight white male, that I had any hand in the increased oppression of hispanic, black, gay, transgender, and female students all across campus. Thank you College Democrats for opening my eyes and giving me a better idea of who I’m oppressing and making things easier on my end.”

Florida junior and black man Derek White remarks, “Honestly, I had no idea racism was still a thing around here, but big thanks to the College Democrats for bringing the conversation back into the limelight and beating this horse into the ground once again.”

Already an incredibly diverse and inclusive environment, the College Democrats have stated that UF just got “that much” better and reportedly feel very good about themselves.
“Distributing the message of oppression evenly amongst the student body is what we’re all about.” Ernie tells us.

Don Johnson

Don Johnson


Don Johnson


Don Johnson
There's not a beer he hasn't drank and a woman he hasn't disappointed. He'll make it to the gym if he has time but only to workout arms. Part-time contributor and slacking off all the other times.

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